Argentina
We cruised over the pacific, squashed in our tiny little Air Lineas Argentinas seats and peered out the window to the city below. It was me and 4 of my best mates and we were only minutes from landing in Buenos Aires baby.
“We’re here lads, breathe in that beautiful *ahhh kinda smoggy South American air”
The sign said Avenieda De Majo. It was a large strip of road dripping in Argentinian history. Our hostel was a tastefully converted art deco, tucked away from all the noise outside. Inside it was all smiles and cheerful “hola’s” from the argentinian staff.
“Vodka redbulls boys”
We dumped our bags and headed down to the already pumping hostel bar.
Maybe we were just jet lagged, perhaps just overly excited or maybe it was the free pouring vodka that seemed to rock our little socks. But within (what seemed like seconds) we were flapping around the D-floor like a terribly choreographed 90’s boy band.
As the hostel screamed out “club van ready” we all downed our drinks and moonwalked to the front. Unable to suppress my excitement, I jump like a jiminy cricket on my mate Joe's back, waving one hand around like a corny American cowboy. “Yeeeeeehaaaaa baby”
However this was short lived. Joe unfortunately has a slip on a shiny marble staircase.
He bangs his face and knocks his front teeth clean out.
*we all pause for a reaction.
He smiles. He’s shrugs it off.
“Last call again for the van”,
And without another thought or hesitation we all jump in the van pumped for the night ahead!
The drinks flow, the music rages, the night continues, our memories slowly fade.
*Knock Knock Knock, “Hola, housekeeping”.
Its 10am the next day and we’re awoken by a knock at the door then a loud “FUUUUUUUUCK” that bellows from inside the bathroom.
^This is Joe with teeth.
“I’d hoped it was just a dream, please tell me i was dreaming,” Joe walks out holding his mouth “Guys, i’ve got no fucking teeth”
The housekeeper cant help but hide her smile at the hillbilly Australian standing toothless and desperate in front of her.
After convincing Joe that it’s probably best he doesn't travel for the next three months toothless and gummy. We jump in a cab and head downtown to the suburb of Palermo to see a dentist.
After a series of back alleys, rusty doors and shonky elevators we eventually make it to an aluminised sign flashing ‘dentista’. As the sign buzzes, flicking off then buzzing back on, we both look at each other, feeling grim and hesitating slowly through the door.
“Great, they’re gonna rip my teeth out with a pair of pliers aren’t they?”
To our surprise we are greeted with flashes of blinding white. Amazingly the dentist surgery was spotless, sparkling white, filled with scented flowers, pictures of happy people smiling and a pretty young girl behind reception.
“Hola, cómo puedo ayudar”, ohhhhh i’m so sorry” she giggles, “Hello, how can I help you? after correcting herself Joe simply smiles and flashes his shame. “Ooohhhhh” the look of concern is hilariousy clear on her face. “Come with me sir, i’ll get you a dentist”.
As Joe wanders in to see his dentist, I can’t help but chat to the girl in reception. To my delight she’s more than happy to oblige, “It will help my english” she politely responds.
“So you’re telling me I can get my teeth checked, cleaned and bleached for $200AUD”. I stood in shock. A thousand thoughts going through my mind.
You see, the Peso had crashed in Argentina and all types of cosmetic surgery including dental was CHEAP!! Like 200 dollarydoo's cheap.
“Sooo umm, is there a dentist free now?”
Two hours later both Joe and I greet each other in reception. Hardly able to contain our satisfaction, we had smiles from cheek to cheek. Joe had his brand new teeth, mine glowed like the first snows of winter. We thanked everyone involved and skipped in sheer delight from the surgery back to our hostel dorm.
When we hit up the local steak house that night the boys seemed more infatuated with our teeth then the 50 kilos of dripping rump in front of them. The dentist had specifically told me to avoid all red things, so I filled my plate with enough grilled chicken to feed an army and continued to smile away. Ignoring the constant sniggers and jokes from all the boys.
We headed to La Boca the next day which is kind of cool, but kinda of not.
But if you’re in BUE I suppose you need to tick it off.
Maybe our mood had been damped by the fact a guy literally dropped dead in front of us from a heart attack. I don’t think a splash of colour and a few flamenco dancers at La Boca helped improve our enthusiasm. Soo we moved on.
The city itself resembles a dirty Paris. Its got a European feel with its own Argentinian twist. Hipster coffee shops, impressive street art, flamboyant flea markets, crowded squares and narrow cobble stone streets. Easily navigated, people are very social and friendly and you can happily spend a few days walking and exploring. PS Who else but the Argentineans would have a bright pink building for their parliament?
PRETTY PINK PARLIAMENT ^^^^
The next day we booked some tickets and headed to the footy (AKA soccer)
Two rival cities were playing and Simon assured us we were in for a real treat. The stadium quickly filled with skin heads and rats tails. Argentinian boys chanted and cheered as the SWAT team looked on without hesitation.
I looked at Simon, “Why the hell is there a SWAT team here?” Swainy was quick to jump into the convo
“Coz shits about to get real boyo”
The game was crazy, the crowd even crazier. Non stop chanting, stomping, fighting, flares, boo’s and cheers. Who won? I have no idea. I couldn't stop watching the crowd, they were absolutely nuts for it. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the old man walking through it all trying to sell a coke and a bancho for 50c
A few days in, Joe, Swain and Si decided to head to Mendoza, a mountainous wine region just outside of Buenos Aires. But Alex and I decided to stay put and continue exploring this vibrant city. We hit up the infamous cemetery where Evita is buried, we stood gobsmacked at an obviously overcrowded dog park (there was just so much dog shit), we explored museums, galleries, trendy bars and more.
We finished the day with a quick spanish lesson where unfortunately we kinda sucked. Learning only ‘poco’ amounts of broken Español.
“Una Cervesa Por Favour”
Our teacher assured us this is the only sentence we’ll need to know.
Now, the night before we headed off to Igacu Falls, the youth of the city decided to put on a protest of epic proportions with it developing directly on the street in front of our hostel. Flare guns lit up the night sky, banners filled the streets. People chanted, marched and moved in massive waves. This raged on just about all night, so of course we joined in. Till this day I have no idea what they were protesting about, however when shots were fired across the square we took that as “yep….. that’s our time to leave”..
Moving forward...It was a slow but comfortable bus ride to Iguazu Falls. The bus with pimped to the MAX!! There was more colour than Priscilla Queen of the Desert and more music than an underground trace rave. Plus they were playing Evita on the wobbly bus TV. Totes #gettingcultured
But boy when we arrived….
“WOW…..Lads check this place out……”
There was a cone of silence. A moment of bewilderment, surely this place isn’t real.
Unbelievably mighty.
Undeniably magical.
Unquestionably majestic.
Wander mystified down endless boardwalks as they slither around booming falls like secret paths. Marvel at the mists of water that smoother the air and cover the sky. At the thunder of white water that belt the rocks below. The power of nature is so unbelievably cool that at times seems soo unreal.
This is one of those places that will become engraved in your mind. See, listen, touch, taste.
An experience you’ll never forget. I was falling’ in love, excuse the pun.
