Egypt

"And does anyone have any idea how the egyptains built those mighty pyramids?'

My year 8 history teacher, Mr Trent, flamboyant and loud, possibly gay, was expecting a response.

"Luke?"

I loved ancient history. Especially the Egyptains. but I had no idea..

"Ummm elephants maybe......"

I remember always being astonished in ancient history. I was soo fascinated in these mysterious past worlds. I actually had trouble cramming it all into my childish mind.

My imagination would go crazy! I'd picture myself in a world dominated by powerful Pharaohs and sultry Queens. Mighty rivers infested with devilishly sly crocodiles. Huge stone cities built beyond the blistering sun and the endless sizzling sands. Mighty skull crushing Gods and all the simple working peasants folk.

I of course would imagine myself as a god.. Big, brave and beautiful. I'd have a pyramid, a throne, a funny hat and ride crocodiles...

.........Imagine my excitement when I booked my first flight to Cairo.

But could a now modern Egypt still excite me like old Mr Trent did in year 8 history class?????

I flew British Midlands from London Heathrow. Egypt Air is another great alternative. A visa is required for entry and can be pre-arranged before departure or easily arranged on arrive at the airport for £20. How simples!

I was travelling to Egypt with my best mate Mav. She's fearless, seductive and fucking full of madness. And with a resume of pure awesomeness she possessed every bit of realness needed for us to explore this wild wild world.

And there's no doubt about it, Cairo is a massive urban sprawl. Littered with people, traffic, the sounds of chatter and the honking of horns. Dust paints the horizon as shades of blue disappear into the desert darkness. It's a city covered in satellites and smeared in concrete. A thick blanket of smog smoothers the city drenching it in an icky, sticky heat. And DAMN its hot..

Signs of post revolutionary pride are sprayed across every street corner and the city now prides itself as a leader in change. Friendly and welcoming people have no hesitation in embracing their newly returned tourist friends.

Mav who has that weird international look, where she can be caucasian, middle eastern, brazilian, had no chance...

"You sir, I give you 500 camels for your beautiful woman"

"Me sir, I will give you 1000 of my BEST camels"

"No, no, sir, I will give you 10,000 camels and my best goat"

"SOLD to the man in the green shirt!!!"

I kick Mav deep into the hands of hungry egyptain men..

"She's all yours fella's"

After a quick browse around the Eyptain museum (Tutankhamun is totes inside, so go check out his shiny head).. We grabbed some food, jumped on a bus and headed downtown to pyramid town.

You'll cruise down an expressway, past a few fancy hotels, a pizza hut, a KFC and wollah..... you're at the (not so) pearly gates of Giza..

Hardly 'out of town' but who cares. You'll gulp for air. It's that first glance. You can see the pointy tips! Year 8 history class starts flooding back..You walk closer.. You can see them again. Gulp. They're soo massive. OMG, gulp again.

Oh Lordy... I should have listened in class.. How in the world did they build these?

Whip out the SLR... It's instagram time..

What a true wonder of the ancient world. Incredibly they have stood the test of time. Sitting silently for thousands of years in the saharan sand, seducing everyone who visits. Both magical and majestic. The mystery of Giza will forever fascinate generations of people and that's so god darn fantastic.

Next we caught a bus to luxur...

The old capital of Egypt.

Like a mother and her child, mighty Luxor hugs the Nile..

*Ha, I totes just rhymed.. Kind of...

Consisting of two parts, the West and East banks, its in Luxor you’ll find Egypt’s most precious temples and tombs. Home to such wonders as Luxor and Karnak temple, the Valleys of the Kings and the Valley of the Queens. You can spend a good few days exploring its many gems whilst sleeping like a royal in its many luxury hotels.

Grab a cocktail and wander Luxor temple at night. Illuminated in layers of gold. It's simply breath-taking.

You can also enjoy an early morning hot air balloon. Bask in the views over the valley whilst watching Egyptian life begin at sunrise.

Or just do as Mav did... Ride a miniature donkey down a dusty road.

Karnak Temple is huge. Extraordinary in fact. Prepare to be amazed.

Then you have the Valley of the Kings. On first impressions its just piles of dirt. But sneak inside. It's a maze of tomb after tomb after tomb. The elaborately designed resting places of the Pharaohs. Forever sleeping as they journey deep into the afterworld for another vigorous life. SWISH!!!!

Now Luxor is the gateway to the mighty Nile. Here you can cruise down her shiny blue waters visiting the lost cities of Esna, Edfu and Kom Ombo.

And screw a fancy cruise ships.. Your not 80 yet... Jump on a Felucca...

Whats a felucca? Well check out the pic below..

Cool right..????

It sleeps about 10 or so people, has a kitchen, can port anywhere, has 360 degree views and is a non-stop pool party.

Sleep under the stars in the warm desert nights.

Frolic with friendly egyptain families.

Spread eagle under the shade of the slapping sails.

Wake up with a boatside backflip into barmy waters.......

But watch out..... CANNON BALL

Mav dive bombs into the nile one last time before we slowly sail into the town of Aswan ending our journey around this incredible country.

I've waited since Year 8 history to see Egypt.

This trip mean't alot.

I walked the sands of a fearsome desert. I crept amongst the mighty Pharaohs. Got lost in timeless cities and discovered ancient civilisations.

I touched a pyramid. Kissed the sphinx. Swam in the nile and fell in love with history all over again...

So thank you Egypt. You've just made me one happy traveller.