Iceland

The land of Ice and Lights..

Ever since a certain volcano went hell bent crazy, spitting lava and ash halfway across the world, pissing off every airline and turning your average holiday folks into rabies infested travel zombies....(like come on guys.. you get to enjoy your holiday a little longer, whats with all the hostility?)

But fuck me did it put Iceland on the MAP or what!!

Now chuck in a few cheap and cheeky Easyjet flights, a somewhat shambled currency and economy and this once tucked away post Viking nation is more affordable and accessible than ever.

I'm a bit of an airline snob (actually that's a total lie, I cant afford to be an airline snob) but I hopped on a ‘IcelandAir’ flight anyways... A comfortable 3 hour direct flight from London Heathrow. It comes with all the regulars you would expect, comfortable chairs, movies, airline hostesses the size of men.

The airport at Keflavik is very schmick, so your new shoes squeak on the floor.

"sir please stop dragging your feet"

Keflavik is a pleasant half hours drive into the Capital Reykjavik, if you haven’t pre-arranged an airport transfer there's a flybus service readily available along with taxi’s and local car hire.

A rather flat drive into town, you'll past scattered fishing villages until you reach the quiet sleepy city of Reykjavik.

If arriving at night look out for the huge beam of light that shoots straight up into the crisp night sky. Every winter Yoko Ono comes to Iceland to light their quiet little harbour up. Ask a local why and....

"Ahhh vee are not to sure vhy, she just comes and flickess on zee lights"

Oh and Yoko Ono is that woman who married John Lennon if you didn't know. Its not Bjork.

Now.... The town is rather cute.

The houses rather cute.

But the people rather huge.. Like 7ft is the average height... for new borns..

Good ole Viking bloooooood I suppose.

Wander around and you'll find a stunning little harbour that wraps around the stunning little city. With quaint little eateries, some funky architecure and hipster shops its a perfect place to unwind and explore. Here you can also join one of the many whale watching tours that disembark during the peak season. And who doesn't love whales.. like seriously arctic whales aswell, you know the ones that look like unicorns...

But if your looking to fill your tummy and empty your wallet then you’ll need to head to Bankastraeti and Skolavordustigur. (10 points if you pronounced both)

The towns city centre is filled with cute shops, trendy bars and over priced restaurants with rather exotic menus.

Puffin pie $45

Whale soup $55

Ahhhhh Noooo!!!

To end your day head up Skolavordustigur to Hallgrimskirkja Church for a 360 panoramic view over the city. Enjoy the sunset or watch the city slowly shimmer in the dim moonlight.

Leaving Reykjavik aside this little island has an endless list of natural beauties to offer. A good introduction into Icelandic life is the Golden Circle Tour which travels down and around the south coast. You can prebook or just book when you're there...

Starting at Gullfoss, Iceland’s mightiest waterfall, – In winter it struggles to breath through the thick ice and snow, in summer it pounds the river below with such force that it creates a fresh breeze and a light mist through the air.

Keep travelling and you'll reach the Hot Spring National Park.

Dominated by a mighty Geysirs.

And they're soooo great.....

Blowing its tops every 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 minutes..

"Man when is this thing gonna blow....my anxiety can't take this kind of suspense".

Watch as its bubbles blister and its waters boil..

And KAAAAA BLOOOOMEEEE!!!

"She orgasims!!!"..

Majestic and eye popping, straight up from the eerie depths below to the high heavens above. She spurts hot steamy water and you jump around like a hippie in a rain dance. Ohhh Bogga bogga bogga!!

Next...

Thingvellir National Park!!

Home to the old Icelandic Parliament. It's in the middle of nowhere and about 2 hours from town, so I take my hat off to the Icelandic for shoving their pollies as far away as poss!! Smart Vikings!

You'll pass a handful of local farms all icy and depressing. But be sure to pop a look at the many horses that line the paddocks. Watch as their thick black fringes flap in the breeze as they death stare you from their frozen oasis like a pack of emo teenagers.

A quick flick of thier heads and...

"Look I know is cold.. but I just really neighhhh to concentrate on my art right now"..

When you arrive at Thingvellir national park, take a short stroll to marvel at the point where the North American and European tectonic plates meet. Its quite impressive really..

"Hey do you guys think it kinda looks like pork crackling?"

The path wanders and twists, you'll pass rock formations and transparent streams untill you finally reach the mysterious old parliament.

Abandoned but beautiful and well worth a minute or two to take it all in. Especially if enjoyed at sunset.

Now journey further east to Vik on Iceland’s south coast and you'll arrive into the islands ‘Volcanic Area’.

Pass by Eyjafjallajokull, where in 2010 this 'little' volcano put Iceland on the map and a lot of airlines out of pocket.

Here you can walk atop of glaciers, crawl through ice caves and shimmy your way through the various ice formations. The coast is harsh with sharp twirling rocks, alien like cliff faces and dark black sand.

In winter the wind is so fierce on the beach that you can barely crack a smile. But i'm told if you go in summer the green grassy lands join perfectly with the dark shiny coast and its a pleasant experience. Sadly for us it was just too fucking hectic and way toooo bloody coooooooold.

Please note: Don’t dare miss out on the opportunity to take a ferry to the islands just off the south coast. Not only are they stunning to explore but venture onto Puffin Island to watch these ‘Clowns of the sky’ fly about their every day lives, they'll bring a smile to even the harshest of critics. And serioulsy like the unicorn whales who doesn't like Puffins?

Now I didn't get any photos but everyone who visits Iceland MUST visit the Blue Lagoon. Simply bathe in the warm mineral-rich waters famed for their healing properties, strip down and slide in, these cloudy blue waters feel silky and smoothe and tantalising and oh my god ahhhhhhh.....*eyes roll into head

You can cover yourself with the white mud paste famous for its ability to repair skin and make your rosy little cheeks glow.

Please note: Use the mud from the clean buckets provided at the side and NOT the mud from below your feet.

"Ummm why is there soo much hair in my mud"

"Well there's a toenail in mine"

"Awwwww grooooooossss mine has a bandaid"

Enjoy a sauna with natural heating or a water massage from mother nature herself or why not try a blue cocktail from the lagoon bar.

Hear me now you'll walk out of the blue lagoon feeling and looking like a million bucks/pounds/krona!

Now of course no journey to Iceland is complete without a few nights walking with your chin up, eyes in the sky, waiting, wishing, hoping and sometimes praying for a chance to see the Northern Lights.

This once in a life time spectacle is high up on everyone’s bucket list and for good reason. When solar gases collide with the earth’s magnetic fields the gods put on a light show of fluro green unlike anything you could ever imagine.

The photo above is actually mine....unreal hey?...

It's like something of a dream, like a gift from a distant world. You will no-doubtedly be picking your jaw from the cold icy ground and popping your eyes back into their sockets.

This is a show NOT to be missed.

Truely one of earths greatest.

If not part of an already arranged tour, there are various local tour operators based within Reykjavik that do nightly bus tours outside of the city, alternatively there are scattered hotels across the island where you can rest your feet, unwind and watch the night sky from your balcony.

Would there be nothing better than a smooth glass of red, relaxing in your own hot tub watching the northern lights from your own balcony?????

Ummmm noooooo...

Peace out,

Luke....